What is this thing called LOVE?

I've been contemplating the power of LOVE lately.

• Why does a child - now a young adult - from a loving family choose to take paths that are destructive?



• Why do some children struggle so much with anger?



• Why do marriages struggle or have a spouse have an affair?
  

Crazy as it may sound, all these things I've been getting a small taste of through friends who are going through them just in the last 2 - 3 weeks.

I've been investigating. I talked to 2 couples who each raised 3 children, and who are now walking with the Lord, and have a great relationship with their parents.

What I keep hearing is the power of LOVE. You know the kind of love that is shown by actions rather than words. And it brings me back to this constant question, "Am I DELIGHTING in my husband and my children?

We all want love and acceptance. Am I showing my children that I delight in them? OR do they get the impression that they are an inconvenience and irritation to me? Does my husband feel like I make him a priority or does couponing (my new hobby) make him feel like he's playing second fiddle?
It amazes me how Rose the other night responded when I took time to just sit and talk to her - her alone - for 15 min. We chatted about her play dough creations and life stuff. She needed it soooo much. I can easily become VERY task oriented and it is hard for me to remember to spend time just talking and delighting in my kids.

Jesse is almost 3 now. He does the usual fits when he doesn't get his own way, you know the ones where they throw themselves on the floor or keep hitting the closet door because they want the to paint (and the paint is on the top shelf in the closet). But he responds so much better when I've taken the time to focus on him and fill up his love tank.

They say that there are 4 love languages (in fact there is book called that). Quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch & serving. They also say that most children need all of them until they get to an age where you can see one of these emerge as their primary love language.

I ask myself, am I pouring these love languages into my children? Into the child that seems to make it difficult to love on...I have one who tends to enjoy being antagonistic, sometimes mean and generally ornery. It is difficult to not be irritated and frustrated with them all the time.

I want my children to obey me because they love me. Not because I beat them into obedience, although we do have consequences for disobeying, but generally obeying because they want to please.

God says it's his kindness that leads us to repentance. WOW.

Does this kindness, does making a purpose to love on my kids - my husband, make the difference in keeping the anger away. In keeping my husband happy? In keeping my kids in a strong relationship with me and their dad that when the time comes where their peers influence them more than their relationship with their parents? Will they make choices that have positive outcomes rather than negative consequences?
Does cleaning house, couponing, relationships with friends take priority in my life or does my kids and husband? How am I bonding, developing heart strings with my kids and husband?

It is very true, that this time is temporary. I have to choose to take advantage of the time I have now. They won't be little for very long...